You Break it, You Bought it!

There could be a few things you don’t know about… well it is possible. For example, did you know that  if you smack into a telephone pole & it breaks in 1/2… you just bought yourself a brand spankin new telephone pole for the low-low everyday price of $14,000?. At least that is what mine cost. THAT my friends, is considered a “cheap” one, so the guy told me. There are fancier ones that cost a lot more.  It’s expensive, but, the service is great !  You knock one of those babies down & they come-a-running.  So happy to see the guy in the orange coat was I, unable to leave my car until he arrived to make sure it was safe for the firefighters to extricate my sorry ass from what remained of my husband’s BRAND NEW car.  I thought that orange coat was a sign that this dude was a hero coming to rescue me from the sparks & flames, to end my hysteria, that he would be so thrilled to declare my emergency “neutralized”, and see me removed from my vehicle virtually unharmed.  Naw, he was there to get me the hell out of his way so he could get busy putting up a gleaming new pole with all manner of electrical do-dads & what-nots on the top… and it is magnificent.  MY pole… it has it’s own number on it in shiny yellow tiles and an accessory “arm” with stuff on it, and at least 5 wires… and one of them is a BIG one too!  What’s missing is a placard with my name thanking me for the upgrade.  I am still not able to walk from my last accident “middle-age woman vs. awnry beast”, but soon I will be ambulatory.  Job 1 is going to be getting that number off my pole & replacing it with a sign that reads “OOPS MY BAD”.